Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Road Trip Wednesday: Blurb your enthusiasm

I'm definitely going with the hastily edited query to find my inner "blurb".


Beatrice loves insects. Spending time in their world helps her ignore her own. It helps her forget that she’s been left out, whether at school or in her own family. Her saving grace is a summer-long babysitting gig working for her idol Mrs. Anderson. After a few days Bea realizes that things are not rosy in the Anderson home. She wants to figure out why, so she starts to snoop around. Maybe it’s a divorce, or maybe it’s something far worse. She has to decide whether to keep her comfortable distance from the world or to get involved. When five-year-old James gets pulled into the mystery, she has no choice.


Hit the YA Highway to see what everyone else is blurbling about.

18 comments:

  1. I like it. (And I'll be probably blurbing the same way.)

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  2. Interesting! I think you've got a good hook. It's obvious Bea doesn't like to get tangled up in the world, but when James gets involved, she has to or else she wouldn't be able to live with herself. :)

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  3. Nice! I would def. want to read this book from your blurb. Also, I really like the title of your post- cute :)

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  4. Nice--- I like the tweeks you did to the plot.. great

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  5. I love the name Beatrice. Just curious--did you ever read the Hawthorne story "Rappucini's Daughter"? There was a Beatrice in it, and it was set in a garden so I am guessing insects may have been present. Anyway, I'm intrigued by your blurb.

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  6. The premise sounds intriguing, but I didn't get a sense of the target age group. YA? MG?

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  7. thanks Alicia- liked yours too!

    I appreciate it Abby, and Kate.

    Thanks Quita- I think the title is my favorite part.

    No, thank you Erinn, for the great Beta read.

    Thanks Tracey!

    Me too Rebecca. I've always been a Beatrix Potter fan, and then when I lived in the Netherlands I realized Beatrice is a popular Dutch name. So that's what I was thinking. I have not read Rapuccini's daughter-- will check it out!

    Angelica, the target is YA.

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  8. I heart YAHighway! And your blurb is amazing - I totally want to read that and I am NOT A bug person. What I like is you get the whole scope of it, the stakes. Thanks for posting :)

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  9. This sounds like such an interesting mystery with a really intriguing protagonist. Funny how the name Beatrice has never really registered on my radar, but it seems so perfect for your character!

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  10. This sounds like a fresh and unusual take - very cool! And nice concise writing as well. One caveat - I too wondered if it were MG: bugs+babysitting+snooping-love angst-identity angst=younger audience IMO. (Of course there maybe be plenty of love and identity angst in novel...I'd just reference some YA themes here!) Great blurb!

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  11. thanks brandi- I hope it appeals to the non-bug people out there.

    Thanks Katy, I like it because shortened, its Bea (bee), which fits.

    dana-- that is a great point. I know you're right: people see bugs/snooping and think MG. The YA themes are in the story. I will bring them to the foreground in my query. thanks a lot!

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  12. Cool premise. I'll bet the insects give Beatrice a different perspective than most teen protags.

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  13. Okay, I want this book on my shelf NOW. :)

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  14. It's the very definition of a hook--I'm hooked! And a little bit in love with the story, which I will be emailing you about this weekend!

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  15. it's easy to say why everyone's praising your blurb. i remember it getting a first-time win on Queryshark! :D though i dont think it was THIS blurb. but still, it does sound quite intruguing, despite the fact that insects personally CREEP ME OUT.

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  16. yes Jennifer, I hope so.

    I'll see what I can do Pam!

    Yay Amie- can't wait to hear your take on it.

    Aleeza- good eye. Yes, this is not the same as the QS FTW. Same book, but it's been reworked a lot since then. This "query" is nowhere near as polished as what I sent to Ms. Shark. I want to work it much more before querying again.

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YAY for comments! Thanks for adding to the conversation.